How to maintain a Healthy Friendship

Proverbs 17:9 states: “Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”

This verse highlights two contrasting approaches to dealing with offenses and misunderstandings in relationships, particularly friendships.

The first part of the verse, “Whoever would foster love covers over an offense,” suggests that a person who is committed to nurturing love and harmony in their relationships will choose to overlook minor wrongs or mistakes. Covering over an offense involves forgiving and moving past it rather than dwelling on it or making it a point of contention. This approach promotes reconciliation and strengthens bonds, as it reflects a willingness to prioritize the relationship over individual grievances.

In contrast, the second part of the verse, “but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends,” warns against the consequences of gossip and holding grudges. When someone brings up a past offense repeatedly, it can sow discord and erode trust between friends. Rehashing old grievances or spreading the matter further can lead to misunderstandings, increased tension, and ultimately the deterioration of the relationship. This behavior undermines the closeness that was once shared and can result in a permanent rift between individuals.

Proverbs 17:9 teaches that maintaining and fostering love requires a conscious effort to forgive and forget rather than to criticize or hold on to past wrongs. It encourages us to handle conflicts with grace and to be mindful of how our words and actions can impact our relationships. By covering over offenses and avoiding the temptation to gossip or repeatedly bring up past issues, we contribute to healthier, more resilient friendships.